Tender Twigs

I should be more careful

I continue to feel out of sorts.  I could write post after post about my children and how they don't sleep, how their behavior is beyond what I think anyone understands, or how often I feel like a terrible mom as I read other blogs but I won't bore you.

I was just now having such a moment.  Reading a blog of one happy mom whose son doesn't seem to give her a moments trouble, they do cool things and she is very creative.  I came back to Google reader to "mark all her posts as read" so that I wouldn't have to be reminded of how delightful her life seems.  But I marked all 165 items as read.  I should be more careful but really I think it is just a sign.

I am going to take a break from blogging.  I've been thinking about it for some time.  I'm not sure how long and I wish I could have written something a bit more profound as to why I am taking a break but alas Si is crying fiercely and refuses to go down for his nap.  It's best that I just go and deal with him.

Edited to Add:  Thanks for all the well wishes.  I know this post seems like a broken record.  This has been a continual struggle that I know I've addressed before.  Your comments now and in the past about this subject are very much appreciated.

On the Nightstand or do I ever read fiction?

It has been a long time since I read a novel.  Too long.  All the chaos and anxiety over the last six months has left me with little interest in reading fiction.  I also have a very narrow taste in novels.  I like female characters living quiet and small lives in near solitude.  You would be surprised how many novels I've found over the last 20 years that fit this description.  Some of my favorite authors that meet my narrow taste include Anita Brookner, May Sarton,  Barbara Pym, Muriel Spark and even Elizabeth Berg.  I go to the library and pull book after book looking for just the right mix of what I am searching and very often I find it but lately I've been at a loss.  Nothing holds my interest and the well has run dry for the type of books I am looking for.  I will admit that I've not read all of Jane Austen's books.

So when Elizabeth mentioned In this House of Brede on her blog I checked out the link on Amazon.  The book description simply reads

"This extraordinarily sensitive and insightful portrait of religious life centers on Philippa Talbot, a highly successful professional woman who leaves her life among the London elite to join a cloistered Benedictine community."

As you might imagine, I was hooked.  I've read 100 pages of the book in the last few nights.  For me the mark of a good book is when I actually look forward to reading it.  I'm very much enjoying reading this book under warm covers with the electric heater near.  So much so that I am terribly behind on reading blogs.  Google Reader can be quite a demanding reminder of all that goes unread.  As of this post there are 142 new item I would very much like to read and comment on.

I do not have the new copy of the book pictured above.  I have a very old permabound copy from the library.  It's yellow super soft pages are wonderful to touch.

I would love any novel suggestions that you think I might like.:)

Day 8 of Thirty Posts in Thirty Days (a little late)

I Like Winter

That's the title of a book, not my opinion.  I love Summer, 90 degree days, sunshine and green grass.  I Like Winter is the winter book in a seasonal series by Lois Lenski.  I adore the sweet illustrations.  We just had it from the library and I realized that it is a great first reader.  There are all sorts of easy words for a beginning reader such as see, tree, sing, hat, bed, snow, hill, color words and the repetition of "I like."  So while many of you are enjoying the snows of winter, I am dreaming of warm days.  Only 65 days until Spring.

                     

Day 7 of Thirty Posts in Thirty Days

(Back dated for consistency, I went to bed early last night!)

Too many boxes

This is my sixth day of writing a post a day.  I almost took a pass today mostly because I feel so behind on all the other areas of blogging but alas I'll give it a try.  Just a bit of rambling.

I couldn't sleep last night.  I was feeling restless, Si is teething again, Citcat was in our bed and I had turned the heat down to save energy and I was freezing.  I got up and had a couple of cups of tea and decided to declutter a closet in our basement I call the "Ebay closet."  Do you have one?  Last night I took all those great things I could sell on Ebay and bagged them up for the Goodwill.  I imagine some Goodwill shopper will be delighted.

I also threw away all the boxes I've been saving to ship the items.  I've been pleased with how I purchase nearly everything we buy on-line until I was faced with the mountain of boxes that I have accumulated.  Oh my, I feel terrible.  I'm hoping that my town recycles cardboard but I doubt it.  If not, then I might take them into the city to a cardboard recyclers or I might put them out with the trash.  I can't decide.  In the meantime, I'm going to think even more carefully about making purchases. 

And the empty closet looks wonderful. :)

Day 6 of Thirty Posts in Thirty Days

I need bigger feet

You might remember that Citcat wanted three things for Christmas, blocks, a ball and a fish.  I agreed to each but I wrote that I put my foot down about having an aquarium.  Apparently, my foot isn't big enough.  The kids are really enjoying it and so far dh has taken care of everything.  Thanks dear.

                        

We read What's It Like to Be a Fish this week.  Citcat was also remembering Fish is Fish when she reminded me that "salmon are fish, sardines are fish and fish are fish."  I asked her several questions about the book and she could answer with perfect accuracy.  I wonder if that is the beginning of narration?

                                

Day 5 of Thirty Posts in Thirty Days

Mama Mama

When we first brought Si home he could not focus for even a second on a book.  Citcat had been absorbed by books and would listen to me read hour after hour.  To say the least, I was stressed.  Many of you assured me that he would eventually sit and listen.  Well, he has started to listen to books.  He can even find his favorites among a hundred board books on his bookshelf.

For a few days last week, I thought he might actually be calling me Mama but alas his little cries for "mama mama" were not for me but for the book Mama Mama.  I have always loved this book for the illustrations as well as the gentle rhythm.

Mama Mama
Show the way
I am learning
everyday

He has other favorites but he is very insistent about reading this book.  Lots of grunts and pushes.  He will settle himself into my lap and look up waiting for me to read it.  Sometimes, I imagine him saying "again" or at least it sounds like it.

Day 4 of Thirty Posts in Thirty Days

My desk has come a long way

                       BEFORE

                        AFTER

Just so you know, my desk doesn't always look as neat as it did yesterday.  My desktop has been in a constant state of flux for six months.  Part of the problem is I had no where to go with all my "in process" reading material but I'm improving in that area. :)  The other problem is that I don't have a lot of time to spend in the space.  And for some reason my children whine even more wildly when I try and take a minute here during the day.  Most of the time my computer is in the kitchen at counter height so that little hands can't reach it.

I would like to find a bookshelf to store all those books that you want to dip into every so often.  I started reading A Field Guide to the Familiar which I highly recommend but I'm not interested in reading it all at once.  If I put a book on the shelves downstairs I am sure to forget about it for a long time.  Come to think of it I really should just buy a shelf.

The wall in front of my desk is boring.  I envision a long rectangular bulletin board of sorts and some framed prints above that.  I have my eye on several prints from Etsy.    Have you seen the Flickr group Inspiration Boards?  I'll warn you there are 1300 photos of delight so check it with a cup of coffee.  I've been inspired despite my lack of craftiness.  There are many things that inspire me and I am in constant need of reminders about things I am trying to learn.

A couple of you said you couldn't post a photo of your desk but I would love to see your desk, neat, messy or otherwise.  Won't you join me?

Day 3 of Thirty Posts in Thirty Days

What I am reading

After reading about my reading goals you might (or might not) wonder what I am reading.  As featured on my sidebar "On the Nightstand", I am reading Sister Wendy on Prayer.  Actually, the book was so good I finished it and immediately started rereading it.  Sister Wendy's approach to explaining prayer (if it can be explained at all) is simple and direct.  This might be obvious but this is not a "how-to" book.  She writes very short essays on topics as broad as Silence, Guilt and Virtue.  Each essay can be considered for a long time.  There is also a succinct and thoughtful biographical sketch at the beginning of the book.  I learned quite a bit about her life.  The book also include a discourse on thirteen paintings included in the middle of the text.  I must say that I would not see God in many of the paintings she has included and that is the beauty.  She explains her interpretation so well. 

I saw this book on the sidebar of Uncommon Grace.  She writes as explanation

"I normally don't go for these "how-to" parenting books. But this one has been so very useful to me. It's about self-discipline rather than strategies for disciplining children. It has been helpful to me as I've worked on conquering my own depression."

Her comment sold me on at least checking out the book.  I've given up reading most parenting books because my children just don't seem to fit the children described by authors.  Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline appears on the cover to be a parenting book but it is so much more.  It really is a book about embracing what the author calls "The Seven Powers for Self Control" such as "what you focus on, you get more of" and see the best in one another.  It all might be a little too much like a self help book for some but I am finding it to be very helpful.  I'm reading about 3 pages a night and trying to think about the content.  The most useful tool that I have discovered is to focus on what I want from Citcat.  Instead of saying twenty times a day "please don't hit your brother", I am redirecting her to a more positive activity.  Sometimes, I suggest that she "give Si a gentle touch" or I might redirect her away from Si.

She has also responded to the notion of helping to create a good life for our family.  She will often parrot, "Daddy works hard to make a good life for us."  I turn this around and say "when you bring your dishes to the sink or you are nice to your brother, you are making a good life for mommy and daddy."  She likes that.

Also in the basket pictured below

Little Women (I've still not started it.)
The post-adoption blues
Fifty Famous Stories Retold
Real Learning

Also, you can see there is a small pile of books to consider, Karma Wilson's new book Give Thanks to the Lord, a new issue of Wondertime and All through the Day, All through the Year (recently received from paperbackswap.com) and truth be told, a trashy celebrity magazine picked up at the library.

As you can see, I still have a lot to read. :)

Day 2 of Thirty Posts in Thirty Days

Two goals and a thirty day challenge

I am having a difficult time getting back into the swing of writing posts.  I hope some of you have noticed an up tick in my commenting.  Google Reader is soooo wonderful.  I feel like I am saving a couple hours a week just by not hunting and pecking for new posts to read.  A couple of times a day I log on to Google Reader, read, comment and get off the computer.  I am spending far less time on-line in general.

The month of my birthday (September) always seems a much better time to evaluate and set goals.  This year I started working toward streamlining and simplifying my reading life.  I would like to read more.  My goal is to focus on one book at a time.  I've not yet reached the goal but I am very close. 

I've posted about cleaning up my links and I continue to maintain a very neat and orderly "favorites" file.  I wish I could show you a screen shot of how uncluttered my favorites bookmarks really are.  When I pop on-line, I have far fewer options and reasons to stay on-line.  All the blogs I read are listed in Google Reader (70 at present), I have ordered and read all the children's books that I had book marked, my email box has only 5 emails that need returned, I bookmark "Things to Buy" and if I see something that I don't have time to read I add it to a file called "Read or Print."  I'm fairly proud of the order I've maintained.

I have cleared the top of my desk and have found a system to hold the handful of non-fiction books that I am reading.  Yes books, I'm not there yet!  If you have followed some of the nightstand photo posts you know that finding balance and order in reading material is a challenge.

My only other goal for the year is a continuation of last year's goal and that is to be more present for my children, to play and read to them more.  My reading goal really is in direct line to achieving my second goals.  I am fairly good at focusing on my needs.  I scoff at articles about "make time for yourself" because I do make time but often my time is "frittered away" and not spent wisely and then I find myself still wanting more.  As a challenge to myself, I am going to attempt to write a post everyday for 30 days.  I'm hoping that I can regain some of my enthusiasm for blogging.  See you tomorrow. ;)